Thursday, June 4, 2015

Romance heroes, are they real?

I was having a very interesting conversation recently with my good friend, Bambi about book boyfriends and sex in romance novels, and the conversation veered onto the realms of "do you think ...." to which she responded "the books lie!". That made me giggle because it's true and it also made me think, do romance heroes give us unrealistic expecations of real men? In our boyfriends, partners and husbands? Do they make us expect things that are just not true? Here are some of my thoughts:


Romance heroes are HUGE
Let's start of with the obvious one, shall we? And let's not be shy. If you read romance, and you read them with any sort of sex in it, you will find that your book boyfriends tend to be very well hung. The heroines in the books always take one look at their manliness and think "OMG! That's not going to fit!" which of course cracks me up. I remember very clearly reading a book by Lisa Marie Rice where her hero actually thought that he was so big that he would split the heroine in two. That, I found hilarious, but then, Lisa Marie Rice makes her heroes EXTREMELY well hung. I think this was in her Midnight series. I did enjoy the book, but the discussion on the size of the guy's penis made me laugh and roll my eyes.


Romane heroes last ALL NIGHT
C'mon? Really? These guys seem to require no recovery time whatsoever. They go once, twice, three times and then you read a few paragraphs later that they've been going all night and the poor heroine is exhausted in a happy way because her man is so studly and the hero is walking around in a rather proud strut. Ladies, I assure you, real men are not like that. I'd like to say from personal experience that a guy can go a long time the first time round, but then there's a certain recovery time in between. Perhaps you're lucky and your guy can go 3 or 4 times in a day, but believe me, if that happened, you probably also won't be walking straight or comfortably! But instantaneous erection right after an orgasm? Nuh uh. Sorry, that just doesn't happen in real life. I'm sorry to burst your bubble, but like my friend Bambi says, "the books lie". But so fun to dream that it's true, yes? :-)


Romance heroes are STUNNINGLY GORGEOUS

Sorry to burst another bubble ladies but real men come in all shapes and sizes. But seriously, do you know what makes a guy gorgeous in your eyes? Love. If you love your guy, he will be the most beautiful man in the world to you, even if he looks like an Average Joe. My Steve is a decent looking guy, but he's no David Gandy, and yet I think he's beautiful and tell him often. He laughs and tells me that I look at him through love colored glasses because I do. To me, he's the most beautiful man in there is and yet, in some rational part of my brain, I also know that he's no Brad Pitt.


Romance heroes are all OVER 6' TALL
Nope, not all men are tall, more's the pity. I do love a good tall guy. I'm short, a mere 5'2" and I have a tall guy complex. When I was single, I dated guys that were at least 5'10" tall and no shorter. I had a guy once say to me: "You should go out witi Chris, he likes you" to which I replied "no, he's too short". Poor Chris was only 5'7" tall. What can I say, I'm a height snob. My Steve is 6'. I love the fact that I need to look up to gaze into his eyes. When I was reading Dragon Bound by Thea Harrison, her hero in the book, Dragos is 6'8" tall. I could not comprehend that height. The tallest guy I've seen in my experience was 6'4". Then one day, while getting into an elevator, a guy walked in. He was so tall, he had to duck to get in so he wouldn't hit his head. I looked up at him, and up, and up, and up. I finally got to the top of him and could not help myself but say "Wow! You're tall!" and even asked his height. He told me he was 6'8".  I now know how tall that is. And his looks? Just average. Stunning height does not equal stunning looks. I haz a sad. :-(

Does any of this make me want to stop reading romance? No, definitely not. I like the fantasy world that romance builds. I love the romance, the happy ever after and I love the men who are so perfect that I can fall in love with them over and over again. Yes, they do set some rather unrealistic expectations, especially when you read about alpha males and dominant billionaires who are stunningly gorgeous and rich, and then find out that the people who pursue an alternative sexual lifestyle look nothing like Chrsitian Grey. It's disappointing, but it's fantasy. We need to remember that it's an escape and a fantasy. Reading makes our lives richer, no matter the subject matter, and they fuel our dreams.

So I day, go grab yourself a romance novel or three and fall in love with as many book boyfriends and romance heroes as you can. If nothing else, it sure as heck is fun day dreaming.

Tell me, do you have a favorite book boyfriend you'd like to bring home and meet the family? Walk down the aisle with?

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  1. Romance books are the reason I will be single forever. No real man can live up to the embodiment of a book boyfriend. It's depressing.

    1. That is so true. It's hard for a real man to live up to the picture / fantasy in my head.