Movie review: 365 Days / 365 DNI

365 Days / 365 DNI
My rating: 3 of 5 stars

Heat rating:        
Watch it on Netflix

About the movie

Massimo is a member of the Sicilian Mafia family and Laura is a sales director. She does not expect that on a trip to Sicily trying to save her relationship, Massimo will kidnap her and give her 365 days to fall in love with him. Based on the book by Blanka Lipinska.

Review

I've been seeing and hearing the hype around this movie for months. Ever since the first trailer hit the interwebz and people lost their minds over how sexy it was. Then the movie released to mixed reviews with a limited released in Poland, followed by being on Netflix in Europe and finally, it's been released worldwide on Netflix and my friends went nuts. Ever since the movie released, it's all I've seen being talked about on my Facebook feed. It's actually a nice change from all the doom and gloom in the recent past.

I tried to come at this with as few spoilers and with an as unsullied an opinion as possible. All I knew was that Massimo kidnaps Laura and gives her 365 days to fall in love with him. That's quite an ask considering the guy just kidnapped a woman, but hey, he's mafia, and it's supposedly a romance and most definitely fiction because this shiz doesn't happen in real life. Although, Stockholm Syndrome is a real thing.

So with that in mind, Steve and I sat down this afternoon to watch the movie. First off, all that Italian and Polish. That's a lot of subtitles. And my subtitles were wonky so I only got the Italian and English. I didn't get subtitles for the Polish which was very weird no matter what I did. I am technologically challenged when it comes to my TV remote. That sucked because I had no clue what Laura and Olga talked about, especially in Warsaw and later after she picked her up from the airport. If someone would like to give me a summary, I'd appreciate it. I ended up ad-libbing and mostly I had Laura telling Olga how much she liked Massimo's c*** and Olga telling her that she should go back to Martin. I'm naughty like that. :-p Steve found that highly amusing.

First impressions, I liked the cinematography. It's a lot of stylistic posing and slo-mo, but it was fun. I quite like the artistry in it. After that, because I couldn't understand some of it, it was all a bit strange. And even when I could understand what was going on, it was a bit strange. A word of advice: don't expect too much by way of plot. Watch it for the pretty pictures and pretty people.

For the most part, I thought the movie was rather strange. The whole plot seemed rather thin and the dialogue was stilted and forced. I mean, that kind of dialogue sounds great in my head when I'm reading a book, but when said out loud... it doesn't sound natural. I know, I know. I should listen to my own advice!! I thought Laura was rather a brat but I could totally understand her acting out considering she's been kidnapped and held against her will, and then forced to fall in love with her captor. I did notice that Laura faints a lot. There are a lot of scenes with her just waking up. There is also a lot of shopping. Why so much shopping? Are they trying to recreate a Pretty Woman vibe but without Julia Roberts' sass and attitude? Poor Massimo looked rather bored in some scenes. I could tell the turning point of the movie when things started going Massimo's way and Steve said: "what he saves her life and now she suddenly likes him?" Okay, it was more than likes because there was a lot of stylistic, pretty effing going on. Steve: "Massimo has excellent recovery time!" Ah well, there's a romance with a flimsy plot for you. I've read flimsier plots so I'm more forgiving. And don't even get me started on the ending, because what the heck kind of ending is that and we don't even know if there will be another movie.

And Massimo. Let me be the first to say I tend to have a soft spot for heroes but Massimo is rather wooden. Well, the guy doing the acting as Massimo anyway. But he does a lot of posing and he's very pretty. And what's up with all his sex faces? And let me tell you, there were plenty of opportunities for Massimo posing and looking pretty, and plenty of sex faces. I'm certain there will be a lot of screenshots and GIFs of Massimo's faces in various states of ecstasy. As a character, well, he's rather obsessed, isn't he? I think he'd be the kind of hero that a lot of the women in one particular book group I'm in would love. Jealous, possessive, obsessive. Works great in a romance, looks kinda strange on-screen, definitely not something I'd want in real life. This kind of guy is perfect in fiction and should stay that way. But that sex face...

Overall, it was an entertaining movie and very pretty to look at. Don't expect much by way of plot or acting skill though. The soundtrack is pretty good too. I liked the music. If there was a second movie, I'd watch it just to find out what happened to Laura because that was one heck of an ending.

PS. Just remember this is fantasy!!!

PPS. I spent the afternoon discussing the movie with a girlfriend while she was watching it and it brought back all the memories of the movie. Mostly, we obsessed over Massimo and coined a new hashtag. #massimosexfaceforever because Massimo's sex face is everything. And then I spent the evening hunting down GIFs of Massimo's sex face. Yes, I'm a perv like that. If you have a girlfriend you can share this movie with, do. It makes the whole experience so much more fun.

PPS. I know a lot of people want to read the books and they are currently being translated into English. Not sure how long the translation is going to take but I have no intention of reading the books. Mafia stories are not my thing in general. Also, I made the mistake of looking up reviews of the second and third book. Don't do that. Those books are just a mess and effed up. Just focus on Massimo's pretty face and enjoy the fantasy. It's better that way.

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